


My Neighbor, My Friend

by extremelyperturbed



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, Fluff and Crack, M/M, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, non-cannibalism AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-10
Updated: 2013-06-10
Packaged: 2017-12-14 12:47:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/837052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/extremelyperturbed/pseuds/extremelyperturbed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In answer to a kinkmeme prompt, Hannibal Lecter is a children show host.  The producer Jack Crawford wants to hire a co-host and Will Graham is chosen as the co-host.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Neighbor, My Friend

“Hannibal,” said Jack Crawford, producer of the children‘s show “Hannibal‘s House.” “We’re doing extremely well when it comes to the ratings.” He was especially pleased it was doing much better than “Chilling with Dr. Chilton” that was produced by Freddie Lounds.

“Of course,” said Hannibal. He was nothing if not completely confident in whatever he did.

“What I think would make it even better is if we had someone else on the show besides you,” said Jack. 

“I don’t understand. My character interacts with various puppets.“ The hour consisted of spending the hour cooking, drawing and having the occasional adventure with the puppets that Beverly and her assistants Jimmy and Brian manipulated and provided voices for. They also took care of much of the special effects of the show.

“It’s a way of illustrating certain points that the writers and I would like to flesh out and we need another human to do that.”

Hannibal said, “The name of the show is Hannibal’s House. And we have had people as special guests.”

“I am aware of that.”

Hannibal knew that Jack Crawford was a very stubborn man when he wanted something. The best way to dissuade him was to show him how wrong he was. “I will consider your suggestion but I have the right to choose the person who will be starring with me.”

Jack narrowed his eyes. “I hope that you do not choose someone who’s being set up to fail.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it.” 

***

Once word got out, tons of DVDs with recorded auditions came pouring in. The entertainment industry was very competitive and almost any regular job with a show that had already earned critical kudos was sure to get applicants. However, that didn’t mean that the quality of all the applicants was going to be high.

They watched the DVD titled “Franklyn Froideveaux.” Within five minutes of Franklyn going on and on about wanting to touch Hannibal‘s . . . . greatness, Hannibal said, “The answer is no.”

“He’s willing to pay for the privilege of working for you. It would save us a lot of money.”

“The answer is still no.”

They put in the DVD for Tobias Budge, who did a Power Point demonstration about how he was the best possible man for the co-host position. A few minutes later, Hannibal said, “No.”

“Why?”

“I get the feeling he wants the show to be ‘Tobias’ Town.’” 

They were watching Abel Gideon’s audition DVD where he was doing a weird and horrible imitation of Hannibal when Beverly walked in and said, “Guys, I want you to watch Will Graham’s audition.”

Jack rolled his eyes. “You can’t just ask us to watch your roommate’s audition just because you’re friends.”

Beverly gave him the stink eye. “This coming from the man whose wife is head writer of the show.”

Hannibal interrupted an oncoming argument. “Let us see the DVD but I do not promise that he will get the job.”

Will Graham’s DVD began with a long-shot of a handsome man with curly brown hair and glasses. He looked off-screen and said, “Come here, Winston.” 

A dog ran towards Will. Will put up his hand and the dog stopped on a dime. Will made a circle with his right pointer finger and the dog ran around in a circle. Will pointed towards a hoop and the dog ran at full speed and jumped through it then proceeded to run up a ramp and land in a kiddy pool full of water. 

“Perhaps we should hire the dog,” Jack grunted. 

Will said, “My name is Will Graham and that was Winston. Good boy, Winston!” Will hugged the dog even though the dog was soaking wet. 

Hannibal found himself smiling. “What is his background?”

“He used to be a lecturer at the local college but due to state budget cuts, he received a pink slip. He really is a good guy.”

“Let’s hire him,” said Hannibal.

“Him?” said Jack. "Has he ever done a show?"

Beverly smiled in a pained way. "He lectures entire auditoriums on a daily basis or used to." 

“He has absolutely no experience as an entertainer," said Jack. 

“Neither did I once upon a time. It’s worked well for you, hasn’t it?” said Hannibal.

“He gets to do a live audition. That’s all I’m promising," grumbled Jack.

***  
“I’m terrified,” said Will to Beverly as she was driving him to the studio.

“The show’s in front of a camera and it’s not live so any mistake you make will be edited out,” said Beverly, reassuringly. “Trust me, I’ve been in the business for years and a lot of the actors I’ve seen are three sheets to the wind who flub their lines and need editors to make what they say into coherent sentences. You’ve done lectures before. It’s just like that.”

“Thanks, Beverly.”

“We’re going to do a run-through of what your introductory episode will be like and we’ll make some changes once we find out what works.”

“That’s assuming I get the job.”

***  
“I’m Hannibal and this is Hannibal’s House,” said Hannibal on the set of his 'house.' There was the sound of a doorbell ring. “Who could that be?”

Hannibal opened and Will Graham walked through the door. “Hi, I just moved in next door. I thought I’d introduce myself. I’m Will.”

“My name is Hannibal. Since you just arrived, I should show you around the neighborhood,” said Hannibal as he shook Will’s hand. “I’m so glad you’re my neighbor.”

“So am I,” said Will, smiling and ducking his head.

“But before I do, we should sit down and have some coffee and cookies. If you would like, I can show you how to make them.”

“I’d like that very much.”

Hannibal went off-camera and came back with a tray with two cups of steaming hot coffee and a plate of sugar cookies. Hannibal watched as Will ate his cookies and tasted his coffee. 

Jack turned to Bella and said, “What do you think?”

“I think this is gold,” she declared.

***  
As Jimmy looked over the new script, he said, “My buddy in the social media department for the network said that there’s been a huge uptick in discussion about the series on Twitter and Tumblr. A lot of it is about the new friendship between Will and Hannibal.”

“I’m not sure if it’s exactly friendship they’re talking about,” said Beverly. She had seen a lot of those tweets and Tumblr accounts. 

“OK, what the hell is going on that people are on social media talking about a kids’ show?” said Brian. 

“Maybe it’s the kids’ moms and sisters?” said Beverly.

“Or it could be adults enjoying something sincere like those . . . Bronies,” said Jimmy.

“What are Bronies?” said Brian.

“They’re men who like My Little Pony.” 

“Really?”

“Yeah. They really dig all the sincerity instead of all the postmodern hipster ironic cynicism.”

“Who da thunk it.”

***

“Are you from around here?” said Hannibal as he and Will sat in a row boat on a lake. Often, “Hannibal’s House” would have segments shot outside, away from the sound stage they usually used. This time, it was on a nearby lake. They were chatting idly while waiting for the camera man and the sound crew to set up for lighting and sound. 

“No, I grew up in Louisiana, moved to New Orleans and went to college.”

“But I don’t hear much of an accent.”

“I’ve . . . tried very hard not to have one.”

“I understand. As you can see, I still have a very thick one.”

“No, no, I like it very much. I can’t place it though.”

“It’s Lithuanian.”

“That’s Northern Europe, isn’t it?”

“Yes. I haven’t been back in a long time.” Hannibal looked a little melancholy. 

“We’re about ready,” said the camera man.

Will froze. “I forgot my cue.”

Hannibal whispered, “I ask what kind of fish we’re fishing for and you show me which fly you intend to use.”

“Thank you,” said Will.

***  
“Hello,” said Hannibal as he picked up the phone. He had been playing his theremin to relax when it had rung. 

“It’s Bedelia.”

Ah, Hannibal thought. Bedelia was his ex-wife. Their divorce had actually been civil if not overly friendly. On paper, they seemed the perfect pair. Both were well-educated, respected in their fields and had similar tastes and opinions about what they had thought were the important things. However, their marriage had been problematic from the start with both of them having a tendency of keeping the other at a distance and a tendency to play mind games rather than be straightforward. However, they had always respected the other and there had been no infidelity or children to make separating complicated. “Is there something the matter?”

“No, I was just calling to say that I’ve been watching your show.”

“It‘s hard to think that you‘d find much interesting about it since you are not part of the intended audience.”

“I only watched because I heard there was a new cast member.”

“Yes, Will Graham.”

“You seem to enjoy his company.”

“I do.”

“Does he like yours?”

“I believe so,” said Hannibal, anticipating where this conversation was leading. “We are friends and just friends.”

“It’s good to have friends. I was just surprised because I remember a man who didn‘t want to share his world with others.”

“It was Jack’s idea. But it has turned out well.”

“That’s good.”

“How are things going on with you?”

“I’ve retired.”

“You’re too young to retire.”

“I can afford to retire and do something else. Besides, you were once a surgeon.”

“Touche.”

***  
It was during the Memory Land sequences that Will seemed to really shine. He would close his eyes, imagine that the characters who were to be digitally added in later were actually there, open his eyes and act as if they were. It was not an easy thing to do 

He smiled at the space where Dancy the Deer was while Brian read the Deer’s lines from off-stage and said, “Is that a crown of flowers you have for me? Thank you.”

“You are quite good at this,” said Hannibal after the scene was over. “Many actors need a stand-in in order to be able to react.” 

Will looked down, a little embarrassed. “When I was a kid, we moved around a lot so I didn’t really make a lot of friends so I’d spend a lot of time in my head .”

“You developed your imagination.”

“Yes, though sometimes I got a little scared because sometimes I’d get a bit lost back then. Never mind, it‘s dumb.”

“No, I like it that you confide in me. It makes me feel happy.”

***

Alana brought in eight lattes and a box of donuts. “Oh, head writer, what is in your head today?” she said to Bella.

“I want to do an arc.”

“I thought we were trying to stick to stand-alone episodes.”

“Oh, the format won’t change much but there’ll be a thread that binds them all together.”

“What is the arc about?”

“I haven’t decided quite yet but something like ‘brotherhood is beautiful.’”

“You mean ‘bromance is beautiful.’”

“This is a kid’s show,” said Bella.

“Latte?”  
***  
“Today as always, Will is going to help me in the kitchen,” said Hannibal.

“Though I feel I’m not very much help,” said Will. 

“Do not be afraid to try new things and do not be afraid to practice until you are good at it. I did not become as good as I am today without years of doing this. If you apply yourself, you can do this as well. Today, we are going to talk about flowers in cooking.”

“Flowers?”

“Yes, there are many flowers that are edible. However, one should not randomly pick flowers as many are not edible and you don’t know if they have been sprayed or not. Leave getting flowers for recipes to your parents. Today’s recipe involves squash blossoms and the recipe is simple yet tasty.” 

“They’re beautiful,” said Will as he looked at the pretty orange flowers on Hannibal’s plate.

“Yes, they are,” said Hannibal as he gazed not at the flowers but Will.

***

“Hey, Will, want to do laser tag? The guys are coming and Alana’s coming too. After that we can head to that new gastropub Hare and Hunter,” said Beverly after the filming was done for the week.

“I’d love to. Can Hannibal come too?”

Both Hannibal and Beverly looked surprised at that. “I mean, sure, if Hannibal wants . . .” She and the guys had never invited Hannibal before as they knew his tastes usually ran towards the upscale.

“I would love to,” said Hannibal, surprising even himself. 

***  
“Are you a ringer?” said Beverly, noting how good Hannibal was at the game. The teams had been Hannibal, Will and Jimmy with the other team being Alana, Beverly and Brian. The last two had been Beverly and Hannibal, who had tried to knock the other off for ages before Hannibal got in the last shot. 

“I am used to hunting,” said Hannibal. “I go after boar with a rifle since they are an invasive species.”

“I’ve seen reports about them on the news,” said Jimmy.

“Exactly so. They also make amazing prosciutto.” 

“Now that we’ve worked up an appetite, I’m all for beer and beef,” said Brian.

“You were the first one killed,” said Jimmy.

"So?"

"Within the first five minutes."

***  
Hannibal had to admit to himself that the beer was top-notch and that the food at the gastropub deserved the rave reviews it had gotten. The menu catered greatly to carnivores; replete with sausage, schnitzel and roasts with most of the remaining menu devoted to potatoes and noodles. It suited him just fine.

When Will went to the bathroom, Hannibal said, “What exactly is your relationship with Will?”

“We’re friends who split rent for a house,” said Beverly. “But I know that the question you really want to ask is if Will and I are more than friends. The answer to that is no. I‘ll just say that I already have a situation where my hands are full.”

“How about Alana?” He had noted that Alana enjoyed being very tactile towards Will.

“He had a crush on her a while back but it never went anywhere. She wants someone a bit less introverted.”

Will came back. “What were you guys talking about?”

“I was talking about how we split a house,” said Beverly.

“Oh,” said Will. He took one glance at Hannibal’s plate and said, “The only time I’ve ever seen you eat vegetables is on the show. That‘s not good for you.”

“Yes, dear,” said Hannibal.

Beverly hid her crack up behind a napkin.

***

“Jack?” said Hannibal as he stood in front of Jack's desk.

“Yes, Hannibal.”

“I want to make Will permanent.”

Jack shrugged. “I guess the increase in ratings make a good case but . . .”

“But?”

“I keep getting letters from little girls asking when Hannibal and Will are going to be boyfriends. Whatever is going on between the two of you, I‘d like you to do it off screen.” 

“Then you should scold your wife. We are merely doing what she’s writing,” said Hannibal. “Also you should not worry about such things, we are after all in the twenty-first century. Did not Alana say that one of the things children should be seeing is men finding ways to interact without fists or violence?”

“I remember,” said Jack. 

***

“I was . . . I know this is last minute and . . .” said Will on Wednesday. 

Hannibal could tell he was extra nervous by his looking at his feet. “Go on, you can tell me anything.”

“This weekend, it’s going to be hot in the city but I have a cabin in the mountains where it‘s cooler. There’s a lake nearby and I hear the hunting’s good. I asked other people to come but everybody else seems busy so you’d be stuck with just me for company but it’s really beautiful up there and . . .”

“Yes, and your company is all I desire.”

***

Will had not been lying when he said that the cabin was in a beautiful area. It overlooked a lake and was surrounded by a thick forest. “I can’t promise that you’ll get a boar but . . .” He opened the door to the cabin to show a place with a full kitchen, a comfy bedroom and bathroom. “But you got a place to cook it if you do find one. It also has indoor plumbing..” 

Hannibal smiled. “So we won’t be roughing it.”

“I didn’t want to make things too rustic.”

“I appreciate your consideration.” 

After spending several hours searching through the forest with nothing to show for his efforts except a handful of mushrooms, Hannibal went back to the cabin expecting to find Will. After seeing that Will was no there, he put the mushrooms in the refrigerator and went down to the lake, figuring that Will had gone fishing. He got to the edge of the lake only to find Will in his bathing shorts on his back, floating on the water. “Will?” When Will didn’t respond, he said louder, “Will?” Will continued floating with his eyes closed.

Hannibal quickly stripped off his clothes and ran in wearing only his boxers. He grabbed Will by the shoulder and yelled into his ear. 

Will opened his eyes and stood up, putting his feet on the bottom of the lake so he was waist-deep in the water. He pulled out his earplugs. “Hannibal?”

“I thought you were dead when you didn’t . . .” Hannibal stopped and kissed him roughly and desperately, wrapping his arms around his waist and pressing his hands against Will‘s back to bring him closer. Hannibal relaxed when he felt Will answer his gesture by kissing him back and clinging to his shoulders. 

After Will broke the kiss, he said, “I’m sorry. Sometimes I like to just float in absolute silence to completely empty out my mind. I didn’t mean to scare you . . .” 

“That’s all right,” Hannibal said. He swept Will’s wet hair from his face and tasted the water droplets trickling down his face.

“How about we go back to the cabin?”

“I think that would be a good idea.”

“Race you there!” said Will. 

***

The next morning, Hannibal smiled as he saw Will walk out of the bathroom wearing shorts and a T-shirt. He turned back to the range where he was making an omelet.

“I smell breakfast,” said Will, smiling.

“You smell correctly,” said Hannibal. He meant this in more than one way. Will had forgotten his aftershave and soap and had to borrow Hannibal’s. Hannibal felt thrilled at smelling them mixing with Will’s natural scent and perfuming the air instead of offending his senses by smelling of the sailing ship aftershave he used. He also smelled a very light trace of himself as well despite Will having showered and that made his cock twitch. 

“What are you making?”

“I’m making an omelet. I added a few mushrooms so you can’t scold me about the lack of vegetables.”

“Are those chanterelles?” Will said as he saw bits of the golden mushroom mixed in with the eggs in the frying pan.

“Yes,” Hannibal said. “I picked them yesterday. I’ve already heated up some sausage.”

Will wound his arms around his waist and put his chin on his shoulder. “That’s pretty hearty. I usually just have coffee and a slice of toast.”

“You have to keep your strength up. I exhausted you yesterday and I plan to do so again today. Protein is key.”

“Insatiable,” Will said as he nibbled on Hannibal’s ear before letting go and sitting at the kitchen table.

***

“What is this?” snapped Jack as he sat at his desk in his office. He showed the two leads of his show his Ipad that showed the website that had a grainy picture of them embracing in the lake. It had obviously been taken of them with a telescopic lens.

“I think it’s obvious what we were doing,” said Hannibal, completely non-plussed. “We were expressing our deep affection for each other.”

“Oh my God!” said Will. 

“It’s obvious what happened. Freddie Lounds has connections with certain tabloids from her time working in the industry. She must’ve tipped off some reporter to stalk you,” Jack said.

Hannibal sighed in irritation, “Whatever imaginary damage has already been done. This is no longer the 1950s. I can not change who or what I am. And I will not work on a show that asks me or Will to do so. As far as I care, the full revelation makes it unnecessary to pretend we‘re not involved.”

“Hannibal . . .” said Will. 

“You don’t understand. I’ve known stations that take off a show because it offends certain communities‘ delicate sensibilities,” said Jack as he groaned and rubbed his face. He watched as Hannibal patted Will on the thigh and whisper reassuring words into his ear then touch their foreheads together. “Ah, crap, I’m just going to do it your way. It’s not like the writing or special effects team would back me up if I changed course.”

***

One of the assistants to the social network coordinator for the network noticed that the hash tag #BromanceIsBeautiful was trending like crazy in connection with Hannibal‘s House. The hell, he thought. 

The End

**Author's Note:**

> The children's show I was thinking about was Mister Rogers' Neighborhood. Squash blossoms are edible. I make no pretense of having any knowledge of how TV shows work behind the scenes.


End file.
